March Madness Survival 101

9548306_mYou fill up your bracket, get all excited about your team, and you are 110% sure that this year you have picked the winner…then, a team like Mercer comes and beats Duke and ruins everything. What do you do? Other than crumpling your bracket, that you labored over, into a tiny ball and have your own mini basketball game trying to make the bottom of the trash can while sulking about not winning Warren Buffett’s $1 Billion challenge. Well, you start really enjoying the art of the game because now you have nothing to lose. You appreciate, or try to appreciate, that no matter what the experts predict or what your heart really really wants, this game moves in its own maddening way.

Perhaps that one team that you truly didn’t want to advance is now sitting prettily in the Sweet 16 and you just can’t seem to be able to enjoy the games without so much resentment. Then remove yourself from the whole thing. Go out for a walk or a run and let some steam out. Scream into a pillow or just think of an activity that will take your mind off it. We suggest you take your sweetheart, who has been feeling neglected ever since you put on your old college jersey and drinking hat, and started on a strict pizza and wings diet, on a romantic date to let her know that you haven’t forgotten about her. After you send her some pretty “I am so sorry!” flowers, of course. Engaging in a lovely conversation over good food and drinks will take your mind off the fact that Pittsburgh didn’t even go past the first round. Make sure to turn your ringer off so you don’t hear the “ding” of the notification from that app (you know the one I mean). And if you are at a bar or a restaurant, be sure to sit away from the ginormous TVs that seem to be there playing how your team lost on loop just to torture you. And remember, this will all be over in a few weeks and the hair you pulled out in the past week will grow back… till next year.

If you are one of the few chosen ones, whose teams are doing well, then we suggest you make your poor poor friends’ day a little better by sending them some “I’m sorry your team lost.” fruit baskets and start smoothing things over with your honey who now thinks you have picked up a new girlfriend named Virginia by sending her some roses.


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